I Tried a Weekslong Experiment to Become a Better Mom. I Was Shocked That It Kind of Worked.

May 10, 2026 - 21:36

With a second child on the way, I finally gave Dr. Becky a shot. For years, I had dismissed parenting advice as either too rigid or too vague. But the pressure of an expanding family pushed me to try something different. I committed to a weekslong experiment based on the popular child psychologist's methods, fully expecting to roll my eyes by day three.

The core idea was simple: stop trying to fix every meltdown and instead sit with the discomfort. When my toddler screamed because I cut his toast into triangles instead of squares, my instinct was to lecture or negotiate. Instead, I just said, "You are so mad. I hear you." It felt ridiculous. But the tantrum ended faster than usual. He climbed into my lap and sighed.

Over the following weeks, I noticed shifts. I stopped saying "calm down" and started saying "I am right here." I stopped rushing to solve problems and started validating feelings. The house was still loud, and my patience still ran thin. But I was less exhausted at the end of the day. The biggest shock came when my son, unprompted, told his baby doll, "It is okay to be sad." I almost cried.

This experiment did not turn me into a perfect parent. I still lose my temper. But it rewired something in me. I learned that being a better mom is not about having more control. It is about offering more presence. And with another baby coming, that is the only tool I really need.