Why a Viral Parenting Trick Actually Works, According to Science

June 29, 2026 - 10:09

A parenting technique that has been circulating on social media as a "secret" to raising confident kids is getting a surprising nod from researchers. The method, which involves praising a child to another adult while the child can overhear, is being called surprisingly effective by child development experts.

The approach is simple. Instead of telling your child directly that they did a good job, you mention it to someone else within earshot. For example, a parent might say to a partner, "I was so proud of how patient Mia was at the store today," while Mia is in the next room or playing nearby.

Psychologists explain that this works because children tend to trust information they overhear more than direct praise. When a child hears a parent compliment them to another person, it feels more genuine and less like a lesson or a bribe. The child interprets it as the parent's true belief, which can have a stronger impact on their self-perception.

Studies on social validation and self-esteem support this idea. Children who overhear positive statements about their character or effort often internalize those messages more deeply. The technique also avoids some of the pitfalls of overpraising, where kids become dependent on constant external approval.

Experts caution that the method only works when the praise is specific and honest. Generic statements like "she is so smart" can backfire, but praising effort, kindness, or problem-solving tends to build lasting confidence. The key is to let the child feel they have discovered your pride in them, rather than having it handed to them directly.