“Not IQ or luck”: A child who learns to control these 4 things is more likely to succeed in life, says parenting expert

June 14, 2026 - 20:34

Parents often focus on grades, talent, and intelligence when thinking about their child's future. Many spend years pushing for academic excellence, believing good marks will unlock every door. But according to parenting coach Supriya Malpani, a different skill matters more: self-control.

Self-control helps children handle challenges, build healthy relationships, make thoughtful decisions, and stay focused on their goals. Malpani says it is one of the strongest predictors of future success, happiness, and healthy relationships. She identifies four key areas where parents can guide their children.

First, children need to learn to control their impulses. This means pausing before acting, especially when emotions run high. Second, they must learn to manage their attention. In a world full of distractions, the ability to focus on a task without giving in to every notification or interruption is a huge advantage.

Third, children should learn to control their reactions to disappointment. Life will not always go their way, and learning to handle setbacks without giving up builds resilience. Finally, they need to control their words. Speaking thoughtfully, rather than blurting out hurtful comments, strengthens friendships and family bonds.

Malpani emphasizes that these skills are not about being perfect or suppressing feelings. They are about giving children the tools to choose their responses wisely. While IQ and luck play a role, teaching a child to master these four areas of self-control sets them up for a more successful and fulfilling life.