Grieving a parent while parenting is its own kind of hard—here's expert advice for getting through it

April 11, 2026 - 08:17

The profound challenge of mourning a parent while simultaneously raising children is a unique and isolating experience. Grief expert Toni Filipone offers guidance for mothers walking this difficult path, acknowledging its particular hardships.

This form of grieving often leaves little room for personal sorrow, as the immediate demands of parenting continue unabated. Filipone emphasizes the importance of allowing oneself to feel grief in manageable moments, even if it's in brief intervals after the children are asleep. She advises against hiding all sadness from children, as age-appropriate discussions about loss can be valuable teaching moments about emotions and resilience.

Complicating this process further is when the relationship with the deceased parent was strained or difficult. Filipone notes that grieving a complicated relationship involves navigating a mix of sorrow, anger, and unresolved feelings. She encourages acknowledging the full spectrum of emotions without judgment, understanding that grief is not solely about mourning a perfect relationship but about processing the loss of what was and what never will be.

Key to managing this dual role is seeking support, whether through friends, support groups, or therapy. Practicing self-compassion is crucial, as parents in mourning must often balance their own needs with those of their family, a task that requires patience and grace during an intensely vulnerable time.