Teaching Emotional Regulation to Children with Sensory Differences

4 December 2025

If you're a parent navigating the rollercoaster of sensory differences with your child, you know this isn’t your typical parenting journey. It’s full of unique challenges, countless emotions, and moments when you just want to help your child feel okay in their own skin. One of the biggest tools you can put in your parenting toolbox? Emotional regulation.

Helping children with sensory differences understand and manage their emotions isn't just helpful — it's essential. It gives them the power to ride the waves rather than being swept under by them. So, let’s dive into how you can teach emotional regulation to kids with sensory processing challenges in a way that’s actually doable.

What Are Sensory Differences?

Let’s start with some clarity. Sensory differences—also known as sensory processing differences—mean your child perceives and responds to sensory input (sight, sound, touch, smell, taste, balance, and body awareness) in a way that’s different from what's typical.

Some kids might be hypersensitive (everything feels too loud, too bright, too rough). Others might be hyposensitive (constantly seeking more input — crashing into things, spinning, chewing). And sure, some kids are a combo of both, depending on the day or setting. No wonder emotions can run high!

Why Is Emotional Regulation So Hard for These Kids?

Emotional regulation is tricky for many kids, but when you add sensory differences into the mix, it’s like trying to juggle wobbly eggs — blindfolded.

Imagine walking into a grocery store, and the lights feel like lasers piercing your eyes, the hum of the freezer sounds like a jet engine, and someone’s perfume hits like a wall. Now, layer on someone asking you to make a decision, follow rules, or "behave." Yikes, right?

Children with sensory challenges often struggle because:
- Their bodies are in a constant state of alert.
- They may not recognize their emotions clearly (especially when overwhelmed).
- They might not have the words or tools to express how they feel.
- Their reactions are sometimes seen as defiance, when really—it’s dysregulation.

Emotional Regulation vs. Behavioral Control

Here’s the thing—emotional regulation isn’t about making kids behave. It’s about helping them understand what’s going on inside so they can respond in healthier ways.

Let’s ditch the old “calm down” commands. Instead, teach kids how to get there on their own. Think of it like teaching a child how to use a map rather than just yelling directions from the passenger seat.

Step 1: Start with Emotional Awareness

Before a child can regulate, they need to first recognize. That might sound simple, but it’s huge.

Practical Tips:

- Use visuals like emotion charts or “mood meters.”
- Point out your own feelings: “I’m feeling frustrated because we’re running late.”
- Give them language: “You look upset. Are your ears hurting from the noise?”
- Break it down to the basics: happy, sad, mad, scared, excited. Then build from there.

You’re giving them emotional GPS — a way to name where they are.

Step 2: Identify Triggers

Not every meltdown is caused by the same thing. For kids with sensory sensitivities, a “bad mood” could actually be a sensory overload in disguise.

What to Look Out For:

- Bright lights
- Crowded spaces
- Unexpected touch
- Loud noises
- Uncomfortable clothing
- Transitions

Keep a behavior log for a week. Note when your child gets dysregulated. Is there a pattern? That’s gold.

Then, work on avoiding triggers when possible or preparing for them. Give a kid who’s light-sensitive sunglasses. Prepare a child for transitions with countdowns. These small things make a big difference.

Step 3: Build a Sensory-Friendly Toolkit

If your child is overstimulated or under-stimulated, asking them to regulate emotionally without tools is like asking someone to swim without water.

Your child’s toolkit might include:

- Noise-canceling headphones
- Fidget toys or stress balls
- Weighted blankets or compression vests
- Chewable jewelry
- A quiet corner
- Visual timers
- Movement breaks (trampoline, jumping jacks, dancing to music)

Let your child help create their toolbox. Empowering them with choices boosts their confidence—and sense of control.

Step 4: Teach Calming and Alerting Strategies

Different moments need different tools. Sometimes your child needs help calming down, and other times they need help waking up!

Calming Techniques:

- Deep breathing (try "smell the flower, blow out the candle")
- Slow rocking
- Listening to calming music
- Gentle pressure or hugs
- Squeezing a stress ball

Alerting Techniques:

- Jumping, running, or skipping
- Chewing crunchy snacks
- Playing upbeat music
- Bright lights
- Drinking cold water through a straw

Work with your child to figure out what works best. No two kids are the same.

Step 5: Use Visual Supports and Social Stories

Words disappear during meltdowns, right? That’s where visuals come in like superheroes.

Use picture schedules, “first-then” boards, and social stories that walk them through situations. For instance, a story about “What Happens When I Feel Angry” can teach step-by-step regulation skills in a non-threatening way.

Bonus: Post a visual calming strategy poster where your child can easily see it. It gives them a go-to during tricky moments.

Step 6: Practice When Calm

You wouldn’t teach someone to swim in a storm, right? Same goes for emotional regulation.

Practice strategies when your child is regulated, not mid-meltdown. Make it fun. Role-play. Use stuffed animals. Make faces in the mirror to show emotions. Play games that address feelings.

Build regulation like you’d build muscle — over time and with LOTS of repetition.

Step 7: Co-Regulation is Key

Emotional regulation doesn’t happen in isolation — especially for young kids or those struggling with sensory processing.

Your nervous system helps regulate theirs. That means your calm, grounded energy matters more than you may think.

Tips for co-regulating:
- Stay calm (easier said than done, we know!)
- Offer comfort and a soft voice
- Get down to their eye level
- Breathe with them
- Stay present (skip the lectures)

The more you connect, the safer your child feels — and the faster they regulate.

Step 8: Celebrate the Small Wins

Progress in emotional regulation isn’t fast and flashy. It’s more like dripping water on a rock — slow, steady, and powerful.

So, celebrate:
- When they name a feeling
- When they ask for a break
- When they bounce back faster from a meltdown
- When they use a tool you taught them

Reinforce the wins with praise like: “I noticed you took a deep breath when you were upset. That’s awesome self-control!”

Step 9: Partner with Professionals

If things feel too big or you’re stuck, you’re not alone. Occupational therapists (especially those trained in sensory integration), developmental psychologists, and special educators can help guide you — and your child — toward better emotional health.

You’re not failing if you ask for help. You’re doing what great parents do: getting support when it’s needed.

Emotional Regulation Is a Lifelong Skill

Let’s be honest. Emotional regulation isn’t just a childhood skill—it’s something adults struggle with too (hello, road rage and stress eating). So giving your child this gift early on? You’re setting them up for success in school, in friendships, in LIFE.

And yes, it’s hard. But you’re not just teaching survival here — you’re giving your child tools to thrive in a world that doesn’t always understand sensory differences.

Remember: your calm is their calm. Your belief becomes their belief.

So hang in there, show up with love and consistency, and keep building that emotional regulation toolbox one step at a time.

You’ve got this.

Final Thoughts

Teaching emotional regulation to children with sensory differences isn’t about perfection. It’s about progress.

It's messy. It's nonlinear. It takes time. But when your child starts using their words instead of melting down, asks for headphones in a noisy space, or simply takes a deep breath instead of throwing a shoe — that’s everything.

Keep showing up. Keep offering tools. Keep believing that your child can learn to manage their big feelings.

Because they can. And with your help, they will.