Juggling Parenting and Self-Care: How to Make Both Work

21 November 2025

Parenting — it’s the most rewarding, life-altering, soul-filling job out there. But let’s be honest — it’s also the most exhausting. Between diaper changes, school runs, never-ending laundry piles, and making sure that homework is done, finding time for yourself can feel like a luxury you can't afford. Sound familiar?

If you're a parent trying to keep your head above water and wondering how on earth people make time for themselves, you're not alone. The struggle is completely real. But here's the kicker: self-care isn’t selfish — it's survival. So, how do we balance the demands of parenting while also filling our own cups? Let's dive in.

Why Self-Care Feels Impossible When You're a Parent

Let’s start with the obvious: parenting doesn’t come with scheduled coffee breaks.

The moment you become a parent, your world shifts. Your needs take a backseat, and your focus zeroes in on your child's well-being. And somewhere along the way, self-care becomes the thing you’ll “get to later.”

But here's the hard truth: later rarely comes. There’s always a mess to clean, a lunch to pack, or a meltdown to manage.

And because we’re so focused on giving our best to our kids, we often forget that we can’t pour from an empty cup. Parenting without self-care is like trying to run a marathon in flip flops — you're not going far, and there’s a good chance you'll trip and fall on your face.

The Guilt That Comes With Taking Time for Yourself

One of the biggest barriers to parental self-care? Guilt.

Ever heard that little voice in your head whisper: “You should be spending this time with your kids”? Or maybe it says, “You’re being lazy” when you try to rest. That inner critic can be loud and convincing.

But let’s put things into perspective.

Taking care of yourself isn’t abandoning your role as a parent — it’s strengthening it. When you're well-rested, emotionally balanced, and mentally clear, you're a better listener, a more patient caregiver, and a happier person overall.

You wouldn’t hesitate to plug in your phone at 5% battery, right? So why hesitate to recharge yourself?

What Self-Care Looks Like (Spoiler Alert: It’s Not All Bubble Baths)

Contrary to what Instagram would have you believe, self-care isn’t always candles, face masks, and sipping lattes in cozy socks (though those things are great, too).

Real self-care, especially for parents, might look more like:

- Closing the bathroom door and taking five quiet minutes alone.
- Saying "no" to another PTA commitment because you're already stretched thin.
- Letting the dishes wait so you can watch your favorite show.
- Scheduling that doctor’s appointment you’ve been putting off.
- Asking for help, even when it’s hard.

It’s not about grand gestures; it’s about consistent, intentional acts that serve your well-being.

Time Is Tight — Here’s How to Carve Out Moments for You

We get it — between work, school schedules, and bedtime routines, you barely have time to breathe. But here’s the trick: self-care doesn’t require hours. It requires intention.

1. Wake Up 20 Minutes Earlier

Yes, sleep is precious. But even 15–20 minutes before the chaos kicks in can be golden. Use it to sip coffee in silence, stretch, or read a few pages of a book.

2. Use Nap Time Wisely

If your little one still naps, resist the urge to clean the house top to bottom every time. Sure, chores matter, but so do you. Alternate between productivity and rest.

3. Create a Family Quiet Time

This works even with older kids. Designate 30 minutes where everyone reads, draws, or does something quietly. You’d be surprised how peaceful this can be.

4. Tag Team with Your Partner or Support System

Don’t try to be a superhero. If possible, coordinate schedules with your partner or ask friends and family for help. Trade off bedtime routines or weekend duties so each of you gets a breather.

5. Turn Mundane Tasks Into Mini-Me Time

Washing dishes? Throw on your favorite playlist or podcast. Folding laundry? Light a candle and turn it into a Zen moment. It’s all about mindset.

Ditch the Perfectionism — Good Enough Is Great

One surefire way to drain your energy? Trying to do everything perfectly.

Here’s the truth bomb: No one is doing it all. Social media lies. That mom with the spotless kitchen and perfectly dressed kids? She probably cried in her car yesterday. We all have our messy moments.

Your kids don’t need a perfect parent. They need a present parent — one who laughs, listens, and loves. If that means cereal for dinner once in a while so you can chill for 30 minutes, that’s a win.

Make Mental Health a Priority (Seriously)

We don’t talk about this enough: parenting can be mentally and emotionally taxing. If you’re feeling constantly anxious, overwhelmed, or burned out, that’s not something to brush off.

Therapy isn’t a luxury; it’s a powerful tool. Whether it's counseling, journaling, or a support group, mental health support is vital.

Don't wait until you're at the end of your rope. Get support before you're running on fumes.

Involve Your Kids in the Self-Care Philosophy

What if self-care became part of your family culture?

Kids are sponges. When they see you prioritize your well-being, they learn to value their own. Teach them that rest isn’t lazy, boundaries aren’t bad, and saying “I need a break” is totally healthy.

Create family rituals around self-care. Maybe it’s a Sunday morning nature walk, a midday dance break, or a weekly “do nothing” evening. These shared moments recharge everyone.

Set Boundaries — And Stick to Them

This one’s tough, especially if you’re a people-pleaser. But let me say this loud and clear:

You are allowed to say "no" without explanation.

No to that extra work project. No to another birthday party. No to a dinner plan when you’d rather wear sweats and binge-watch Netflix.

Every time you say "no" to something that drains you, you say "yes" to your own peace.

Celebrate the Tiny Wins

Sometimes, the best thing you did all day was shower. Other times, it’s keeping your cool when your toddler paints the dog. Celebrate that.

When you’re juggling parenting and self-care, progress won’t always look flashy. But every small step matters. Every mindful breath, every early bedtime, every skipped chore for the sake of rest — it counts.

You're doing better than you think.

Let Go of What You "Should" Be Doing

The parenting journey is full of "shoulds." You should read to your kids for 20 minutes nightly. You should cook organic meals. You should do weekly crafts and limit screen time.

But let’s be real — some days, survival is the only goal. And that’s okay.

Replace "should" with "could," and then pick what aligns with your energy, your values, and your family’s unique rhythm.

Don’t Wait for a Crisis to Start Caring for You

We often wait until we’re breaking down in tears at the kitchen sink before we realize we need a break. Don’t wait for burnout to hit the fan.

Start small, now. Make one tiny promise to yourself today, and keep it. Maybe it's 10 minutes of journaling, a solo walk, or closing your eyes and breathing deeply.

Protect your peace like it's your most valuable possession — because it honestly is.

Final Thoughts: You Can Do Both

Here’s the heart of it all — you don’t have to choose between being a great parent and taking care of yourself. In fact, being good to yourself makes you an even better parent.

Yes, it takes effort. Yes, it might feel awkward at first. But keep showing up for yourself. Even in the middle of the mess, amidst the chaos, your well-being matters.

So the next time you feel guilty for taking a break, remind yourself: you’re not stepping away from your child — you’re stepping toward being the parent they deserve.