How to Help Your Child Make Friends at School

28 January 2026

Let’s face it—school can feel like an emotional rollercoaster for kids. One minute they’re excited to meet new classmates, the next they’re clutching your hand, whispering, “But what if no one likes me?”

As parents, watching our child struggle to make friends can tug at our hearts. We want them to laugh with their buddies, enjoy recess, and feel like they belong. But how can we actually help them create those meaningful connections?

Well, you're not alone in asking this. The good news? There’s a lot you can do to gently guide your child toward building lasting friendships, all without pushing them too hard or making it awkward.

Let’s chat about it.

Why Friendships Matter More than We Think

Friendships aren’t just about sleepovers and birthday parties (although those are pretty fun). They play a HUGE role in your child’s emotional and social development. Friends teach kids how to communicate, share, resolve conflicts, and even handle rejection.

Plus, when children feel accepted by their peers, they’re more likely to thrive academically and emotionally. Think of friends as the sunlight in your child’s social garden—without them, things start to wilt a little.

Recognize That Every Child is Different

Before we jump into the how-to’s, it’s important to remember: not every child is wired the same way.

Some kids leap into new friendships like it’s a swimming pool on a hot summer day. Others dip in a toe, then back away slowly.

And that’s okay.

There’s no “one-size-fits-all” when it comes to friendships. Some kids are naturally social butterflies, while others prefer quiet connection with one or two close pals. As long as your child is happy and feels connected, there’s no need to panic.

That said, if your child is lonely, anxious, or struggling to connect at all, it’s a sign they might need a little support from you.

Signs Your Child May Be Struggling Socially

Not sure if your child needs help making friends? Here are a few common signs:

- They often say they’re alone during recess or lunch.
- They seem withdrawn after school.
- They avoid school or complain of frequent stomachaches or headaches.
- They tell you they have no one to play with.
- Their teacher mentions they isolate themselves.

Sound familiar? Keep reading—we’ll walk through practical ways to step in and support them.

How to Help Your Child Make Friends at School

1. Start with Small Conversations at Home

Before tackling friendships, create a safe space at home for your child to talk about their day.

Ask open-ended questions, like:

- “Who did you play with today?”
- “Was there anyone new in class?”
- “What games did kids play during recess?”

Avoid drilling them like a detective. You’re not looking for evidence—you’re building trust. Sometimes, just chatting about their day opens the door to deeper conversations about friendships (or the lack of them).

2. Role-Play Social Scenarios

Think of role-play as rehearsal time. Just like actors practice their lines, kids can practice how to approach someone at school.

Try playing out scenarios like:

- Asking to join in on a game
- Introducing themselves to a classmate
- Handling rejection with grace

You can say, “Let’s pretend I’m someone playing on the monkey bars. How would you ask to join?”

Yes, you might feel a little silly—but it WORKS. Your child gains confidence by practicing these social scripts with someone they trust (that’s YOU).

3. Encourage Group Activities Outside of School

Extracurriculars can be a friendship goldmine. Activities like sports, art classes, scouts, or drama clubs gather like-minded kids with shared interests.

The best part? These settings take some of the social pressure off. Conversations happen naturally when you’re building a birdhouse or shooting hoops together.

Even better—your child might bump into classmates they recognize, giving them a jumping-off point for friendship back at school.

4. Teach the Basics of Being a Good Friend

Kindness, listening, sharing—these are the building blocks of friendship. Make sure your child understands what it means to be a good friend.

Simple reminders help:

- “Good friends take turns.”
- “It’s nice to ask questions about what the other person likes.”
- “Sometimes, we have to say sorry when we hurt someone’s feelings.”

Rather than preaching, find teachable moments in everyday life—books, movies, and even your own social situations.

5. Arrange Playdates (Yes, Even If It’s Awkward)

Playdates can feel like mini social experiments—but they're SO helpful.

Start small. Invite one classmate your child has mentioned (even once) or someone they seem to get along with. Keep it short—an hour or two—and structured with an activity, like baking cookies or doing a craft.

You might even stay nearby to keep things flowing smoothly (and step in if needed).

Here’s the magic: once your child bonds with someone outside of school, they carry that connection back into the classroom. Suddenly, they’ve got a lunch buddy, a recess partner, a familiar face.

6. Talk to the Teacher

Teachers are on the front lines of your child’s social life. They see who’s sitting alone, who’s leading the games, and which kids gravitate toward each other.

If your child is having trouble making friends, schedule a short (and kind!) chat with their teacher. Ask if they've noticed anything and if they can help pair your child with a buddy or small group.

Most teachers are more than happy to help create opportunities for positive peer connection.

7. Build Their Confidence

Sometimes, the problem isn’t about making friends—it’s about feeling worthy of friendship.

Encourage your child’s strengths and interests. Celebrate their quirks. Let them know they’re lovable, as-is.

Confidence is contagious. When kids feel good about themselves, they’re more likely to approach others, take risks, and bounce back from social setbacks.

Bonus tip: Avoid comparing them to siblings or other kids. That’s the fastest track to self-doubt.

8. Model Healthy Friendships

Kids learn so much just by watching us. How do you treat your friends? Do they see you making time to connect, apologize when needed, and show empathy?

Bring them along to small gatherings or let them observe your conversations. These moments show your child what friendship looks like in action.

9. Normalize Rejection (Because It Happens)

Here's a tough truth: Sometimes, kids won’t click. And every child, no matter how amazing, will probably face social rejection at some point.

It’s painful—but not the end of the world.

Let your child know it’s normal. Remind them that not everyone will be their best friend, and that’s okay. What matters is finding people who treat them with kindness and respect.

It’s like picking a favorite flavor of ice cream—not everyone will go for the same one, and it doesn’t mean chocolate is bad. (And your kid? They’re definitely Rocky Road. Complex and totally sweet.)

When to Seek Outside Help

If your child continues to struggle—despite your efforts—it could signal something deeper, like social anxiety, ADHD, or an undiagnosed learning difference.

Look for red flags like:

- Ongoing sadness or withdrawal
- Avoidance of school or peer settings
- Frequent meltdowns after school
- Declining grades or interest in activities

This is the time to loop in a school counselor, therapist, or pediatrician. Social skills can be taught, and emotional challenges can be supported.

There’s no shame in asking for help. You’re doing right by your child.

Final Thoughts: You’re Helping More Than You Know

If you’re reading this, chances are you’re already doing an amazing job.

You’re noticing. You’re asking questions. You’re showing up.

Friendships are a journey, not a race. Some kids take longer to find their people—and that’s okay.

Your love, guidance, and patience plant the seeds. With time, those seeds grow into blooming connections that help your child feel seen, valued, and loved.

Keep cheering them on. They've got this—and so do you.